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Traumatic story suggestions for hopeful Bachelor contenders!
by Lindsay Frankfort

Hoping to be on the Bachelor, but unsure where to start? Look no further! The Coop has put together an extensive list of possible traumatic life stories to give you that tortured hot girl charm and make your Bachelor application stand out. The Bachelor receives over 6,000 applications each season, so talking about your dog getting surgery simply won’t cut it. You need a heart-wrenching, tear-producing story that will leave the leading sexy bachelor speechless and keep audiences on the edge of their seats.

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One of my favorite sob stories came from Joey Graziadei’s season of The Bachelor. Madina Alam, a 31-year-old mental health therapist, played the age card a few too many times. In reality, she was only a few years older than the youngest contestant on Joey’s season. Despite how silly it sounds to claim that 31 is elderly, Madina received public fame and lots of attention from Joey because she constantly mentioned how she felt old. ANYTHING can be a sob story – you just have to get creative. 

 

Things you should NOT say in your application:

 

  1. You are afraid of ending up alone.

  2. Your parents got a divorce.

  3. You are adopted.

  4. You don’t know how to swim.

  5. You don’t drink.

  6. You can’t walk in high heels.

 

Things you SHOULD say in your application:

 

  1. You are afraid of ending up alone because you were cheated on 17 times.

  2. Your parents got a divorce because your Dad/Mom had an affair. 

  3. You are adopted, so you are concerned that the Bachelor might actually be related to you.

  4. You don’t know how to swim, so you sleep with one eye open because you think one of the other girls is going to try and drown you in the Bachelor Mansion’s pool.

  5. You don’t drink, so you fear you will be bored if cast on Bachelor in Paradise. 

  6. You can’t walk in high heels because, at your debutante ball, you tripped, broke your ankle, and the country club banned you for life.

 

We hope this list helps! Be creative, but also totally definitely stay true to yourself. If you make it on the Bachelor, you have one goal: MAKE. HIM. CRY. Oh, and also find true love!

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