ranking the top three "dating apps" of 2023
by Lindsay Frankfort
After countless polls and interviews with different members of the Duke community, we at the Coop have narrowed down the top three dating apps of 2023. The twist is that none of these apps were intended for the purpose of finding the love of your life, but have proven to be beyond sufficient in their ability to allow students to flirt, stalk, and date!
Find out what your crush is listening to this holiday season with Spotify! This music streaming app just became a whole lot more useful. Duke students have agreed that the most underrated feature of the app is that you can see what your friends and romantic prospects are listening to in real time.
During this holiday season it’s important to set the bar high and only flirt with people who have impeccable music taste. Afterall, you don’t want to be stuck on a cross country road trip with your future spouse listening exclusively to a playlist of the musical Les Miserables, the album Nimrod by Green Day, and the acoustic tracks by Barenaked Ladies. So with the holidays right around the corner, we have created an easy saying for you to weed out suitors with awful music taste: If it’s Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe, say hell no. If it’s anything by Mariah Carey or Michael Buble, they can stay!
Venmo “what is this for?” lines say a lot about a person. The older users (like my mother) put only straight-to-the-point text with no exclamations for emphasis. On the other hand, superior venmo users put either emojis or a combination of emojis and text that describe what the Venmo was for.
In fact, you can spot someone who is flirting with you if they use emojis that show their feelings and affection. Ever share an uber with someone back from a party and they Venmo you back the next day with the subject line winky face, smiley face, heart emoji? If that isn’t love, then what is?
Now, how do you approach a stranger on Venmo you ask? Well it’s easy. We suggest sending them small amounts of money with different flirtatious subject lines. For example, instead of buying that pretty girl you like flowers, just send her 12 dollars and 50 cents and include three flower emojis in the “what is this for?” line. This way you deliver all of the charm with none of the hassle of actually buying and delivering anything to your crush at all!
According to a recent report poll from the Duke student body, LinkedIn is actually trending as one of the leading dating sites. Caley Brooks, a sophomore at Duke University majoring Public Policy, opened her LinkedIn page to search for a summer internship only to find that each connection was a different blast from her past. What started as a hopeful networking venture quickly turned into a muddle of jobless nineteen year old brunette men. “It’s a one-stop-shop to keep track of hook-ups and dating,” commented Caley. “I used to have a list in my notes app titled “Conquests,” but now I just use LinkedIn,” said Brooks.
But if you really want a leg up in the dating game, we suggest using LinkedIn Premium. For the wildly overpriced amount of $39.99, LinkedIn Premium allows you to see who’s viewed your profile. Chase Walker, another Duke student, said he even caught his ex stalking his page once. So if you are looking for a simpler and more organized way of sliding into someone’s DMs, we suggest connecting with them on LinkedIn or just snooping around on their page to get their attention!
We wish you the best of luck with all your stalking and flirting endeavors. If none of the real dating apps have worked and none of these “dating” apps work, perhaps try talking to people in person – we know it’s scary, but you can do it!